So, lemme get this straight. I can run around in my old, ripped up, Wal-Mart clearance rack cotton panties and–as long as I’ve got a Victoria’s Secret paper sack gripped in my sweaty fist–I’ll still feel sexy? Awesome! Does that also mean I don’t have to spend $30 freakin’ bucks on a thong made from three inches of scrap lace?

…Oh. I have to buy something from Victoria’s Secret to get the bag. Well, damn.