Ah, Mark Twain. Beloved humorist, brilliant satirist, and apparently very experimental in bed. This year marks the unveiling of his 100 year old autobiography, which has been reported to expose such lurid details as his affair with Isabel Van Kleek Lyon and the “vibrating sex toy” she bought for him.

Their relationship didn’t end particularly well. Twain added an addendum to the autobiography the last year of his life, calling Lyon a “slut” who “hypnotized” him into giving her power of attorney over his estate. I’m assuming here that “hypnotizing” means “did dirty things to his prostate that he really, really liked.”